Friday, December 30, 2011

Sexiest Men Of 2011!

Hey dolls,

A friend of mine and I just spent about half an hour writing a list of our top men of all time.. So as this year is coming to an end, I am going to share my Top 50 Hottest men list with you!
Now, this is my list so some of you may disagree, if so I would love you to share your list with me..

Ok, here it goes..

1) Channing Tatum
2) Josh Duhamel
3) Eric Dane
4) Enrique Iglesias
5) Dermot Mulroney
6) Michael Buble
7) Harry Styles
8) Zac Efron
9) Liam Hemsworth
10) Tom Hardy
11) Jamie Redknapp
12) Josh Hartnett
13) David Beckham
14) Taylor Lautner
15) Colin Farrell
16) Mark Wright
17) Russell Brand
18) Ryan Gossling
19) Ashton Kutcher
20) Gerard Butler
21) Jared Leto
22) Chase Crawford
23) Ed Westwick
24) Bradley Cooper
25) Kellan Lutz
26) Gino Dcampo
27) Hayden Christensen
28) Milo Ventimiglia
29) George Clooney
30) Xavier Samuel
31) Rick Malambri
32) Jake Gyllenhall
33) Robert Pattinson (i bet a lot of you are screaming cos you think he is amazing but lets be honest, he is not that hot. Only hot in twilight as a blood sucking vampire and I would let him suck me but way after half these people!!)
34) Dougie Poynter
35) Orlando Bloom
36) Andrew Garfield
37) Michael Cera
38) Hugh Grant
39) Peter Facinelli
40) Brad Pitt
41) Johnny Depp
42) Matthew Mcconnaughey
43) Paul Wesley
44) Penn Badgley
45) Justin Timberlake
46) Matthew Morrison
47) Gary Barlow
48) Jeffrey Dean Morgan
49) Sean William Scott
50) Ryan Seacrest

I couldn't do a list with adding my top 5 women I would turn lesbian for..

1) Sofia Vergara
2) Adriana Lima
3) Mila Kunis
4) Nicole Scherzinger
5) Rihanna

I hope you all liked the list.. Comment below your own list or if you agree with mine. You can also email the list to or tweet me @LittleMissVak or my fb page

Thank you all so much for continuing throughout the year to read my blog. It means a lot to me that people actually read it and enjoy it..


Little Miss V..xx

Friday, December 23, 2011

Guest Blog by Carly.. What's in your Christmas stocking?

Hey dolls,

I asked a gorgeous friend of mine and fellow blogger, Carly, if she would like to do a guest blog for me and she accepted! She is fab, as is her writing. She is funny, witty, dirty and talented, just like me ;)
I hope you all enjoy her post.
To see more of her writing check out her blog..

It’s the most wonderful time of the year isn’t it? Putting the star on top of the tree, eating mince pies and hoping that Santa sees past enough of all the naughty things you’ve done this year to put you on his prezzie list. There are kisses under the mistletoe and on top of the kitchen table, lazy public holiday lay ins and of course catch up Martini nights where us girls get together to misbehave and swap bedroom secrets…

Alexi: “19 cm”
Lea: “Bullshit”
Carly: “Shut the fuck up.”
Alexi: “ I measured it!”
Lea: “Where from his belly button?”
Carly: “ Can you feel it poking your pancreas?”
Alexi: “What?! No!”
Lea: “Then you measured wrong!”
Carly: “ What about Rob?”
Lea: “You mean the Girthenator, check this out.”

Lea shows me a picture of Rob, her new boyfriend, in his favourite pair of blue underwear.

Carly: “Jesus, he really is the Girthenator”
Alexi: “What about…”
Carly: “My guy has the most perfect penis in the world. It fits me like a tailored Chanel suit, in fact if I could have a mold made into a dildo for when I’m away. That would suit me just fine…”
Lea: “Ahhh, over share!”
Alexi: “Yeah, TMI.”
Lea: “I once dated a guy with balls the size of apples!”
Carly: “No, I’m all about the penis. I like a good plum or litchi sized ball… and like is a strong word.”
Alexi: “Another round?”
Carly and Lea: “Yes please!”

As our glasses chink together and we down what’s left of our cosmopolitans I cant help but giggle to myself and wonder, does the bulge make the man?

When I was 15 my best friend and I found ourselves making out with two skateboarding super hotties we’d chatted up. I knew it was time to take the plunge… my hand fumbled past the awkward button/zipper roadblock and hesitantly gripped. My 1st penile experience… hard, slightly curved to the right and about the size of a large gherkin. Really? This is it? Gross. As I got older and with many more tree house esque experiences I came to understand this new found territory a little better. Of course back then I had no basis for comparison… now, slightly more.

For years I have had the pleasure of feeling exactly like a kid on Christmas morning, about to unwrap packages with no idea of what may lie under the tinsel and ribbon. I’ve had some good surprises, some not so good and some very unexpected treats. These do not always coincide with the overall result, as I’m sure all of us will agree that a big package does not necessarily a good Christmas make. In fact if I think back to my top 3 Man Muscles I cant remember any one of them making me Joyful and Triumphant.

The first belonged to a guy who wouldn’t stop talking dirty to me. I’m all for spicing it up but not on date 1(If you can even call it that) and most certainly not dead sober. I don’t know how I ended up sharing a bed with Russell and his ginormous love muscle, when you are 19 you tend to skip the preproduction for these things and I guess they just happen. All I could think was thank God the lights are off so he cant see the look on my face as he explains how he would like to “cum inside me and fuck me raw”. It was probably a similar face to one you would pull after taking a sip of milk 5 days after the sell by date. One eye closed, nose crinkled up slightly grimaced and 11 out of 10 on the uncomfortable scale. There’s no way this guy is getting inside me. I dodged the window of possible penetration thinking I could end it all with a quick BJ if only my mouth could accommodate his meat thermometer. Both of us went to sleep completely unsatisfied and a little embarrassed.

Then there was the owner of what I can only describe as the Giant Meatloaf who revealed himself to me as we began to make out in the street by my car. I can remember thinking, what is it with guys and their big dicks, do they think just because they are well endowed that they can whip it out at anytime and our panties will automatically drop and turn into a symbolic welcome matt saying “Please Enter Me Immediately”? What happened to romance, to chivalry, to base 2, 3 and 4? Insulted by his sense of entitlement I kissed him on the cheek and left him standing pants round him ankles in 4th avenue alone.

Even when you do everything right, not all Purple-Headed Soldiers make it into battle. I had a whirlwind romance with Gerd. Unlike the other 2 Bolony Pony owners, there were some feelings involved. We sparked. We had chemistry. We were out of town and away from all responsibility with a group of friends on a farm. Away from my boyfriend too. Nothing like a bit of nature and fresh air to make you sing: “Oh Come all Yeah UnFaithful!”. It was wrong in every way making our secret love affair even hotter. We were sharing a room with people and so had to keep everything super quiet… whispering to each other in the dark under the sheets after I’d quietly snuck into the bed with him. I felt him press up against me and suddenly realized what I was up against. A Monster. We tried for hours to get in sync but put plain and simply… he was just too big. I bit down on the pillow after attempt 12 and realized that my tight little tigress was never going to be able to play host to such a force of nature. It was as if I’d unwrapped a box with a beautiful pair of shoes inside… 2 sizes too small. Returns not accepted.

And then I think back to some of the best sex I’ve ever had… most of which happened with owners of probably very average Impalers. I can’t remember… It was so good, I guess I wasn’t focused on how big they were just on how good they felt and how well they were operated. In my opinion a man who knows how to take command of the Anaconda can very well trump a guy with a Savage Salami in bed. I’m not completely un-superficial… I’ve had my fair share of these moments:

Carly: “Ok, I’m ready… I want you inside me!”
Under average Joe: “Um… I am. I have been for the last 15 minutes. I thought you came already?”
Carly: “Oh. Um… yeah, I was just role playing you know… lets carry on.”

Cue Sour Milk face followed by a major Fake.

A situation probably easily forgiven had I been eaten out as if I were a festive dessert and sent into xmas ecstasy instead of being pummeled inconsiderately like a jack hammer with a tool that seemed to be Christmas cracker gift size. Just saying.

So… what do women want in their stockings this year? I’ll tell you.

We want time… everywhere. We want generous foreplay. We want long expeditions to the South Pole. We want excitement. We want to feel powerless and powerful all at the same time. We want to feel beautiful and be looked at like the goddesses we are. We want bragging rights so that at the next Martini party we can tell everyone how our boyfriend makes the Karma Sutra look like a children’s bedtime story. We want candles, mood music and rose petals sometimes and sometimes we want our hair pulled and our panties ripped off. Most importantly we want a man who knows who he is and knows who we are enough to confidently play on that thin line between almost bliss and endless rapture. A man who knows his Candy Cane is but one Christmas charm amongst a tree of trinkets and tricks. After all it’s not the gift, but the thought that counts.


Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Cougar Town?

I have always been the kind of girl who has never enjoyed dating guys my own age.
When I was 16 I went out with a guy who was 23. When I was 19 I was dating a 17 year old (and taking his virginity). Now at the age of 23 I wonder if I am supposed to be looking for the older guy to settle with, or the younger guy to have fun with.

I have always found that guys my own age are very immature. Well, they do say the male brain is three years behind the female. So that means a guy my age really acts like a 20 year old. So if I start dating a 20 year old, really he has the brain of a 17 year old? What I have noticed is that younger guys will always try harder to be at your maturity level, mainly to impress you.

“A man who hasn’t had many or any long-term relationships is far more likely to be open to friendly instruction,” says Dr Pam Spurr. "He’s still exploring and learning, so you’ve got a better opportunity to mould him.” “A younger man may not have fallen in love before, so you might be his first." “That can make it feel incredibly exciting for both of you.” That said, it might also make him overly intense. “Not having dealt with these deep feelings before might make him come on too strong, in terms of commitment or even jealous behaviour,” says Dr Pam.

More women than ever before are looking outside of their own age group to find love, and according to the Office for National Statistics, it’s mostly cougars on the prowl. More women are marrying younger men than ever before. Celebs are doing it too: Halle Berry, Madonna and Demi Moore have all tried younger men, while women like Catherine Zeta Jones and Katie Holmes got hitched to older guys. Dating out of your age bracket can work to your advantage but will also have the disadvantages. Look at Caroline Flack. She is 32 years old and has just started dating Harry Styles from One Direction who is only 17 years old. Like I said earlier, I am a girl who will date younger guys but come on.. that is just wrong. She had nearly finished high school when he was born. From what I have seen, she has been getting lots of hate mail and I am not suprised. (most probably frome me cos he is MY man and she needs to plank on a knife!!) Demi Moore, 49, married Ashton Kutcher 32 a few years back. Now they are on the brink of a divorce due to cheating rumours on Ashton's behalf.

So, can dating a younger guy lead to disaster? Will they get bored and cheat? Or do some of these 'cougars' do it due to boredm? Do they think dating a younger guy will keep them on their toes? Lets be honest, women age very gracefully so it is easy to bag a younger guy but you need to be sure of what you want before you get too involved. If casual is more you thing then go for it, but if you are looking for something more long term, make sure he is aware of that.

I guess some women will go for the 'toyboy' if they just cannot deal with the 'baggage' that may come with an older man EG divorce, an ex wife, divorce etc.

Once a man hits around 35, he’s usually got a good idea of what he’s good at and what he’s not. So he is less likely to be changeable in terms of his career, the way he behaves, but it also makes him less fickle when it comes to love. He has been there, done it and probably got more notches on his bed post than you. Well, some of you! You will probably have more security when it comes to the older guy.

“The advantage of a man who’s been around the block is that he’s learned from his exes,” says Dr Pam. “Every relationship, every break-up has a lesson in it.” And there’s the physical knowledge too. “Men who have been in long-term relationships learn a lot about women’s bodies,” Ok so thats good. Date an older guy and maybe he will actually be able to find my G-spot and not think its a watch when I ask him to look for it - (this is what happened with the 17 year old back in the day!!)

After thinking about all of this I decided to make a top 5 list of my hottest younger guys and older men.

Top 5 Older men I would get it on with:
1) Eric Dane - aka McSteamy from Greys Anatomy
2) Dermot Mulroney - best know for his roles in The Wedding Date and My Best Friends Wedding
3) Antonio Banderas - The sexy Spaniard
4) Patrick Swayze - Obviously in his Dirty Dancing days..
5) Gerard Butler - From the moment he played Gerry in PS I Love You, I fell in love

Top 5 Younger guys I would get it on with:
1) Harry Styles - One Direction
2) Taylor Lautner - aka Jacob in Twilight.. oooh topless in each film. Yum.
3) Zack Efron - Need I say more?
4) Frankie Cocozza - He may be a shameful coke whore but that rocker vibe does it for me and then he can add my name to his ass
5) Jeremy Sumpter - He believed in fairies in Peter Pan and he can believe in me being his fairy godmother :)

Would love to hear from you guys if you have had a relationship with the Toyboy or the older guy and how it went for you?
Twitter: @LittleMissVak

Little Miss V..xx

Monday, December 12, 2011

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