It's a heartache... A lovesick man..

Hey Dolls,
Hope you are all well and had a great weekend.
Now this blog is slightly different.
I recieved an email from an annon reader who wanted some help and advice regarding his love life and the girl he is in love with. I have written back to him and given him my advice but I think it would be great for more of my readers to get involved and add points of view. Please leave your comments below or email blogdoll21@gmail.com.

Here is his story:


Dear Little Miss Vak

I wanted to share an honest story with your readers and get some feedback and advice. I believe men are misunderstood and that we tend not to give ourselves a good image. I hope my tale will rewrite yours and other people’s opinions of men. We have emotions and sometimes we are big enough to admit and then attempt to correct our errors. This is a love story, but unlike most, it’s yet to realise its happy ending…

Men are often perceived to be prats and we are. We make mistakes and we do things we regret. However, recognising we’ve made a mistake and trying to right the wrong is seemingly rare. I however am trying to correct past mistakes and write a better future for myself and for someone whom I dearly love.

Early this year I was living the dream, I had a girlfriend who loved me as much as I loved her. Things really couldn’t have been better but I let one tiny tiny thing get to me and before I knew it, I’d ended the best relationship I had ever had. What a fool I was. In truth, I probably knew only a few weeks after I’d ended it that I’d made the wrong decision but I didn’t want to admit that to anyone, least of all myself. After all, men can’t be seen to make errors can they?!

The weeks and slowly the months ticked on by. Nothing changed for me; other girls didn’t interest me at all, what was the point when there was only one person on my mind? Still, I couldn’t face up to that. I’m a man, I can’t find fault in anything I do.

Finally, a month ago a light-bulb clicked on in my head. I hadmade a huge error and let the most incredible person go unnecessarily from my life. Trouble was I’d not seen her now for close to three months and we’d rarely spoken. I firmly believe it is never too lateto say sorry and attempt to rectify a situation though.It had taken me too long to realise I was a fool but I had to tell her how I felt. I had to tell her I wanted her back in my life. If she loved me as much as I thought she did then somewhere deep in her heart she’d be able to realise the same feelings I feel now still exist inside of her despite the months of torture that she’d no doubt suffered attempting to move on from me – something she was reluctant to do.

So I plucked up the courage and I told her exactly how I felt, not missing out a single detail. I’m not expecting to jump back into the deep end immediately; it takes time and patience for these things to work. I’d hurt her badly and I had no right to think that I deserved a second chance. However she’s as honest and forgiving as anyone I know – like I said, she’s incredibly special. She’s admitted to me that in her heart somewhere she knows she wants to be back with me but her head is too scared to face that reality.

It’s normal for her to feel scared having been told it was over but then months later be told that actually that was a mistake. However, I won’t hurt her. I couldn’t hurt her again and she has to believe in me. I felt scared merely admitting how I felt to myself but figured I had to do this. It scares me to admit this but it’s not just these next few weeks and months I’m hoping to change, but given how good what we had was, I want to change my life by doingthis.

Luckily we’ve spent some time together lately and unsurprisingly we still get on so well, there’s obvious chemistry. I just need her now to look into her heart and let herself realise her true feelings like I have – I even burst out crying in front of her recently as I tried to explain to her what she means to me. She knows I’m not joking and she can see how important she is in my life. It took me months to realise I had made a mistake; I hope she realises that we’re right for each before months have further elapsed.

Right now I must be patient and let this takes as long as it takes. I can’t begin to explain how hard that is though. Men are impatient, we want instant answers so this is arguably my hardest test. She’s single and whilst it hurts me to think that she may go out and fool around with other guys whilst telling me that I still mean something to her, she’s entitled to do that. However if she wants this to work one would hope that she wouldn’t be with random men anymore – I can’t ask that of her but she can only do that for herself. It won’t work if she continues as a fully-fledged single lady. Everyone has desires and needs – myself included, but my physical urges have been and still are on hold, I’m waiting for her. I hope that soon she will want me again and not Mr Random.

Your readers must understand how much she means to me and just how good we were together. It’s so rare in life you meet someone special and it’s all too easy to suggest that one should never go back on the past however this is different. This is about love not two young people wanting just simply to fool around. Given that men are strong and emotionless, how often could a guy admit to crying in front of a girl because he’s so overwhelmed by the emotions that she evokes?

My request is simple, that she’s honest with herself and allows herself to relax and be loved again (providing she wants that). If she’s not honest with herself she’ll always be scared and we’ll never know what could have been. I believe that she would one day soon like to be back with me but I fear she’ll not let herself be loved again. Everyone likes to be loved, neither she nor I are any different. Not that long ago we used to regularly tell each other how much we loved one another – those strong feelings do not just disappear. I hope that in a year we’ll be able to look back at this and laugh – it’s one of those key moments in life where you know you’re making a decision now that can positively influence your entire future.

Life’s all about risks and gambles. I’ve put myself in a position where I could easily be hurt but because I know that there’s a chance things will work out perfectly it’s worth that risk. I hope she can take these same risks and gambles I have. One kiss may tell her everything she needs to know – those feelings of old may just need to be coaxed out with that most simple of moments when two foreign lips meet. She once loved me and I believe she still does. Despite it still being the early days, it’s timefor her to be brave and overcome her fears – the sooner she can do that, the sooner that my pain and anxiety will be distinguished and the sooner she’ll be loved again and back in the most amazing of relationships.

So, Little Miss Vak, what would you and your readers do or what advice would they give to me or her? It’s no surprise that people who know us have said that we’re meant to be together, that we’re perfect for each other. In the grand scheme of life we’ve had a minor blip and we’ll be stronger as a couple for this; after all, no couple go through life without having to cross a hurdle. I’ve learnt my lessons and will never let her go again, no chance.

Time and patience are the key factors here but in the short-term I hope she can loosen up, take a (100% safe) gamble on me and be true to her heart. If she can’t do that then this may not work and if this isn’t going to work I need to know sooner rather than later as forgiving myself for my errors in the past won’t be easy.

Remember, not all men are bad. Not all guys want to simply get into a woman’s pants – there are some of us who have feelings and emotions, one of which is the ability to love someone else. I am big enough to admit my errors and importantly I’m trying to correct them – it is never too late. We can’t change the past, so it’s time for me and her to write our new, better future, the one I know we both want.

From,

An anonymous lovesick man.

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FWB - Friends With Benefits!

Can a girl and a guy have a no strings attached/friends with benefits relationship without one or the other falling in love?!

For me, I am torn on this subject.
I think it can happen, as long as both partners understand that it is not a "normal" relationship. It needs to be fun and easy. No commitments. No pressures. It cannot happen often! I think the reason why FWB relationships don’t last is because some "couples" enjoy the sex, and do it too often, therefore confusing at least one party in the relationship into lust/love.

On the other hand, it sounds great in theory, but is it really possible to have a "successful" FWB relationship? Men and women are different when it comes to sex. A man is physically designed to have sex with no strings attached. A woman is designed to have sex selectively, which means she cannot have sex and detach — thanks to a little hormone called oxytocin (men have this hormone also, women are just more affected by it). This is the "bonding" hormone that makes the woman want to cuddle, connect emotionally, and communicate about the relationship. The female brain needs to talk about relationships like the male brain needs sex.


Personally, I think the whole FWB thing has become a lot more common and known in recent years. Tools like online dating have lead us to believe that the perfect person is just a check box away, so our expectations have increased as we have lost our ability to compromise. So with this, it is easier to find a friend or aquaintance for a FWB relationship.

Ok, so lets weigh up the pro's and cons of a No strings/Friends with Benefits relationship..

Pro's:
* Sex (and probably lots of it)
* Chemistry
* Friendship
* Potential future partner


Cons:
* One party falling in love
* Boredm
* No real feelings


I want to see this kind of relationship work. It didn't work for Blair and Chuck in Gossip girl, or Emma and Adam in No Strings Attached.. So will it work for me?
I love to really get into my blogs and find out the truth. So I am going to experiment with this. I am going to find a guy, and tell him a FWB relationship is all I want and see what happens.. watch this space!!

If you have any questions, you can email me - blogdoll21@gmail.com, twitter @LittleMissVak

xx

Sex on Holiday.. The Do's and Don'ts!

Hey Dolls,

I know a lot of you are going away on holiday over the next few months so thought I would give you some tips and advice that you can use whilst on your holiday.


* DO pack plenty of protection:
We all know that practicing safe sex is the right move, but when on holiday, after a few too many cocktails it can slip your mind. Always keep a condom in your handbag or pocket. Your partner may forget, but as long as you don't, you will be safe.. You don't want to come back home from holiday to find out your pregnant and you don't even remember the name of your one night holiday fling (or which one!)

* DO ask for ice lollies at the bar
You have had your eye on the barman all holiday and you want him. Take a minute out of sunbathing and go sit by the bar and ask him for an ice lolly. Unwrap it in front of him and seductively start sucking. Try and get a lot of it in your mouth and suck up the juice. He will be fixed on you and I am sure his trousersnake will give you a wave too. You will be his and your holiday dreams would have come true!

* DON'T forget to be safe during sex in the sea
If things turn from floaty to frisky in the water make sure you are not in the view of others. You may think if you have sex in the sea, the semen can not impregnate you. You are wrong, it can. Swim out to the rocks, put on a condom, and get your sailor on! Do remember though, the water can rub off the lubrication from certain condoms meaning the condom is less smooth and more likely to break. Just be a little more careful, but enjoy it, you will love it!

* DO learn the language
Now I am not telling you to learn the whole dictionary of the country you are going to, but learn a few naughty sayings. If your holiday fling is from the country you are visiting and you know it is just a one night stand, or fling, impress him with your knowledge of dirty vocabulary in his language, he will love it!

* DO exit appropriately
Nobody wants to be seen leaving their conquests room at 5am in their shirt because you can't find your top and your denim shorts! If you are on holiday with your parents, make sure you are not arriving back to the hotel at the same time your father is laying the towels out on the sun loungers. You do NOT want the look of shame!

* DO NOT give him your room key
You may think your Sexy Spaniard or Turkish Delight is the most incredible man ever created by the hands of god himself, but you never know who he really is and who he know's. Do not give him your room key, who knows what he can take, or do! While you are not giving things out, make sure you do not give him your heart either!

* DO enjoy the motion of the ocean
Who wants to be on dry land when you can get wet? Hire out a pedalo or boat and drift out into the ocean so you are far from being spotted. When far out, stop the boat and get down and dirty right there! The movement from the waves will help yours and your partners movement too.

* DO NOT ditch your friends!
If you are getting some holiday hanky panky, make sure your friends know who he is and where you are. Your friends are on holiday to have a good time too, the last thing they need is to be worrying about you! If there is just two of you, make sure she does not mind you going off and she is back at your hotel safe before you go off for your midnight feast! Don't forget you came with your friends and will be leaving with them too. Your holiday romance will most probably fade faster than your tan so don't have hopes of lasting love.


Well, those are the best tips I can give.. The main one I can say is.. HAVE FUN! Holidays are about getting away, enjoying things you wouldn't when your at home. Sit by the pool, drink cocktails, go quad biking, party hard, go sky sailing or jet skiing and just relax and have a good time!

Get me on twitter @LittleMissVak or email Blogdoll21@gmail.com

Lotsa Love..
Little Miss V..xx

Clean Blood

John 3:16   For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.


This is one of the most well known scriptures in the Bible. But how many of us really ponder what this means for us? God loved us so much, that He gave up His only Son. Ask yourselves, would you do the same? 


I first read this story a few years ago and have always remembered it and the message it put into my heart. Please take this time to truly reflect on how much your God really does love you as you place yourself in His situation.

Clean Blood

Imagine this ...

You're driving home from work next Monday after a long day. You tune in your radio. You hear a blurb about a little village in India where some villagers have died suddenly, strangely, of a flu that has never been seen before. It's not influenza, but three or four people are dead, and it's kind of interesting, and they are sending some doctors over there to investigate it. You don't think much about it, but coming home from church on Sunday you hear another radio spot. Only they say it's not three villagers, it's 30,000 villagers in the back hills of this particular area of India, and it's on TV that night. CNN runs a little blurb: people are heading there from the disease center in Atlanta because this disease strain has never been seen before.

By Monday morning when you get up, it's the lead story. It's not just India; it's Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, and before you know it, you're hearing this story everywhere, and they have now coined it as "the mystery flu." The President has made some comment that he and his family are praying and hoping that all will go well over there. But everyone is wondering, "How are we going to contain it?"

That's when the President of France makes an announcement that shocks Europe. He is closing their borders. No flights from India, Pakistan, or any of the countries where this thing has been seen. And that's why that night you are watching a little bit of CNN before going to bed. Your jaw hits your chest when a weeping woman is translated into English from a French news program. There's a man lying in a hospital in Paris, dying of the mystery flu. It has come to Europe.

Panic strikes. As best they can tell, after contracting the disease, you have it for a week before you even know it. Then you have four days of unbelievable symptoms. And then you die. Britain closes it's borders, but it's too late. South Hampton, Liverpool, North Hampton, and it's Tuesday morning when the President of the United States makes the following announcement: "Due to a national-security risk, all flights to and from Europe and Asia have been canceled. If your loved ones are overseas, I'm sorry. They cannot come back until we find a cure for this thing."

Within four days our nation has been plunged into an unbelievable fear. People are selling little masks for you face on the street corners while others are to afraid to leave their own houses. And everybody is wondering, "What if it comes to this country?" And preachers on Tuesday are saying it's the scourge of God. It's Wednesday night, and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot and yells, "Turn on a radio, turn on a radio!" And while everyone in church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made. Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital, dying from the mystery flu. Within hours it seems, this disease envelops the country.

People are working around the clock, trying to find an antidote. Nothing is working. California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts. It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders.

And then all of a sudden the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made. It's going to take the blood of somebody who hasn't been infected, and so, sure enough, all through the Midwest, through all those channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood analyzed. That's all we ask of you. When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals.

Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your spouse and your kids are out there, and they take your blood and say, "Wait here in the parking lot, and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home." You stand around, scared, with your neighbors, wondering what on earth is going on, and if this is the end of the world.

Suddenly, a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Daddy, that's me." Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. "Wait a minute, hold on!" And they say, "It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We want to make sure he doesn't have the disease. We think he has the right blood type."

Five tense minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses are crying and hugging one another - some are even laughing. It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you, sir. Your son's blood is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the vaccine."

As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying. But then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and your wife aside and says, "May we see you for a moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need... we need you to sign a consent form."

You begin to sign and then you see that the box for the number of pints of blood to be taken is empty. "H-h-h-how many pints?" And that is when the old doctor's smile fades, and he says, "We had no idea it would be a little child. We weren't prepared. We need it all!" "But... but... I don't understand. He's my only son!" "We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We... we... need to hurry!"

"But can't you give him a transfusion?" "If we had clean blood we would. Please, will you please sign?"

In numb silence you do. Then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?"

Could you walk back? Could you walk back to that room where he sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?" Could you take his hands and say, "Son, your mommy and I love you, and we would never ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be! Do you understand that?" And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry, we've got to get started. People all over the world are dying," could you leave? Could you walk out while he is saying, "Dad? Mom? Dad? Why... why have you abandoned me?"

And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son, and some folks sleep through it, and some folks don't even bother to come because they have better things to do, and some folks come with a pretentious smile and just pretend to care, would you want to jump up and shout, "MY SON DIED FOR YOU! DON'T YOU CARE? DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?"

I wonder, is this what God is saying to us? "MY SON DIED FOR YOU. DOES IT MEAN NOTHING? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?"

Father, seeing it through your eyes breaks our hearts. Maybe now we may begin to comprehend the great love that you have for us, amen.

 Author Anonymous 

Cos you gotta have Faith..!

Hey Dolls,

So after writing the last couple of blogs, I have had numerous tweets and emails asking me how and why I am so confident.
How: Well, I am just naturally outgoing and have a 'I do not really care, I rock" attitude.
Why: Cos I can be!!

We all have it in us to be outgoing and confident. If you are shy and want to be out there more, now is the time!

I have decided to write some tips to help :)

1) Hold on to compliments..
When someone gives you a compliment, a lot of the time we brush it off.
"Wow, you dress is stunning?" Your reply - "Do you like it? I think I look a bit fat in it."
WRONG REPLY! If some one tells you they like your dress, or your hair looks good, or your make up is awesome, or you have lips like Angelina Jolie or a butt like Jlo, you should acknowledge it and accept it. Dont' just think they are being polite. Cherish the appreciation. Store it in your mind so next time when you are feeling a bit low about yourself, just remember that someone told you something positive. Remember that time and how it boosted your self esteem and let it make you feel wonderful again.

2) Body confidence..
As girls, much of our self esteem is wrapped up in body image. You need to find ways to appreciate your body and feel sexy. We all know, the best way to feel great before a night out is a new dress, or a haircut or even a spray tan, but this won't make you feel great each time. Stop critiscising every lump and bump. Embrace what you have. If there are certain things you like about yourself, FLAUNT THEM! Got nice legs? Wear a short dress! Got a good bum? Wear great jeans! Got a nice cleavage? Wear a low cut top! Men love a real woman and will not even notice half the things about yourself you dislike. They will only know when you start moaning about it, and men hate nothing more than a girl who moans! Do not be afraid to feel beautiful!

3)Love the haters..
There will always be people in your life who will hate. Girls especially can be very jelous and envious. When they are, they can go to extreme measures to make you aware. Guys also can be rude, especially when they do not get what you want. In truth, I have been called so many names. People call me fat, people have called me ugly, people have said I will get nothing in life. Well, ye, I may not be a size 10 but I am happy with who I am and how I look and I embrace that. I do not need to be a size 10 to be the happy, funny and outgoing person I am. I know I am beautiful and that is what matters and I want you all to be the same. If someone knocks you down, you get up and move on and let it make you stronger. The only reason someone will say nasty things about you is because deep down, they want to be you!
In the words of Nikki Minaj.. "Shout out to my haters sorry that you couldn't phase me!"

4) Respect..
Respect and love yourself before you let anyone else do it for you!

Confidence comes from loving yourself enough to know you deserve everything you dream of. Whatever flaws you may have, doesn't make you less worthy for all the great things in life. You may feel different and stand out. Well, what makes you different, makes you beautiful.

I hope this helps and if you have any questions you can email me Blogdoll21@gmail.com or on twitter @LittleMissVak or comment underneath this blog..

Be fierce, be positive, have faith and share the love!

Love Little Miss V..xx