Wednesday, October 5, 2011

DLS.. Dirty Little Secret

"I like you, but you know we have to keep this our little secret right?"

How many of you have heard that one before? I for sure have. I have been a secret. I had a secret. It was fun while it lasted but you know it will never be anything more than just the secret. The secret itself is what makes the relationship exciting. The actual relationship or what you are doing within it, may it be emotional or physical is not the exciting thing. The fact nobody knows is what keeps it fun.

So you would think secret romantic relationships are hot, right? Movies and television dramas are full of them, you hear about them and they almost always seem intense.

When you think of secret romances, you would think they are fun and exciting. You automatically imagine late night meetings in a hotel or a car park where the potential for being caught enhances the romantic experience. For some however, a realistic portrait of romantic relationships reveals that maintaining the secrecy is more frustrating than fun.

So, I asked some friends about their experiences and what happened...

Emily's story:
Emily's sister Natasha was dating a guy called Dean. She would only ever see Dean at weekends though as she was at boarding school. Emily met Dean one weekend at their house and instantly took a liking to him. He took to her as well and when Natasha went back to boarding school, they took to each other like rabbits. They kept it a secret for years and to this day, Natasha does not know. Emily did not feel as bad as she would have, as Natasha had told her she was dating someone at boarding school and only kept Dean there for fun at the weekends when she was home.
Emily's fun with Dean sadly ended when Natasha moved back home from boarding school and Dean ended both relationships. Emily said it was the most secretive fun you could ever have!

Darryl's story:
Darryl is a 29 year old estate agent and married man. After meeting his wife Linzee at school he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Losing his virginity to her at 16, he needed no more. Until one day in married life, Darryl felt he was missing out on life and felt he had not experienced enough in life. Darryl signed up to a dating site where he was listed as single and "only up for a good time." Needless to say, gorgeous Darryl was flooded with messages and met up with Harley. Harley became the DLS that Darryl longed for. He would lie to Linzee by telling her he had late viewings yet instead, invite Harley to a propertly he was letting out. After a secret two year relationship with Harley, Linzee became pregnant and Darryl was forced to end his secret affair. To this day, Linzee does not know what her hubby got up to.

Carlos's story:
Carlos was working in a restaurant as a waiter. One day, in walked Francesca. A pretty little thing who caught Carlos' eye immediately. She had come in to give her CV for a job going. Carlos took the CV and her number from it and called her up. Even though he had a girlfriend, he had a passion inside of him to get to know Francesca. She was very flattered but made Carlos aware that she had a boyfriend. Even though her boyfriend was in prison, she could not be unfaithful. A few weeks later, Carlos recieved a message from Francesca telling him to meet her at her place. He did not think about his girlfriend and without hesitation, went round. According to Carlos, it was the best sex he had ever experienced. Carlos is the kind of guy who loves when a woman gives into him and he can get his way with her. Francesca was giving Carlos the best sex of his life and he started to fall for her. Three months after their affair started, Francesca got a phone call that her boyfriend was being released from prison. She told Carlos to delete her number and never make contact again, leaving Carlos in shreds.

It seems to me that most secret relationships end badly or with upset, so why is this topic the backbone of so many books and movies we see each year? Maybe its more about the escape than the actual love. Take Romeo and Juliet for example. They had a secret love. They couldn't tell anybody because their families were at war. What happened to them? They both killed themselves!

My personal advice on this topic would be to not let yourself fully in. Do not accept the relationship as something serious. It is fun. It is a period in your life that is boring that you are making exciting. If it starts a secret, it will always only be a secret. So have fun, don't fall, don't let all your emotions in and make sure nobody finds out ;-)

I would just like to add, the stories included here are all true but names have been changed to protect the identities of the story tellers :)

Little Miss V..xx

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